Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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