covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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