He is an equal opportunity slut.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize
