oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
