Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
