butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
