he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
