a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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