I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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