ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
honey bunches of taint.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
