the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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