he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
