do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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