ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm really into asian looking animals
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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