well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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