is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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