yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Bring me that man meat
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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