Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My penis needs a shock collar
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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