He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
