I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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