I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
