You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
