There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
