So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
