After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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