My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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