I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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