Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
