Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
