I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
