We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize