just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
