I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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