I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
