And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
