I skipped work to stalk him.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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