guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
