so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
