I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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