I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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