dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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