Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
