Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
