you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
