My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
