To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
