Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
