Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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