"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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