I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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