thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize