she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
