Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
