God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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