Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
