yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You pole danced in your parka.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
