okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
