i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
