Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
