she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
